Broken? Yeah probably.

I consider myself to be well adjusted but that’s not really saying much. In my mind, well adjusted people hate themselves and those around them. Me? I'm a selfish misanthropic prick, unable to feel or understand love. I'm not autistic but my inability to maintain eye contact and my overinflated, unjustified, sense of self-worth may have you thinking 'Fuck what's his problem? Maybe he's autistic?' The seemingly random bouts of self-loathing and the absence of self-esteem may lead you to diagnose me with Borderline Personality Disorder. You? Well, unless I’ve explicitly stated otherwise, you’re a moron. I probably hate you because your opinions are different to mine in some minor way and if you wish to function within society you better have the same outlook as me because well, that's life.

Now that you know this about me and my worldview it may come as no surprise to learn that I love indie music.

People get into indie music for a number of different reasons but make no mistake; this interest is permeated by a deep sense of self-loathing and an inability to function within peer groups. You get into indie music for one of two reasons.

I. The overly sentimental, melancholy lyrics and the bland melodic music are complimentary to a sense of middleclass guilt. World not perfect? Don't worry, you're not alone these rich white kids feel your pain.

II. You are unable to talk to members of the opposite sex so you covertly find out what music your particular potential partner is into and then you listen to it nonstop. Eventually you're able to form crude opinions on the band and so you strike only to find that the band is now lame and all your effort was for naught. But like a crack head you're trapped. Stuck in the indie scene. All you can do now is plunge deeper into its depths.

Believe it or not I actually got into indie music because of the former (I guess this could explain why I still can't talk to women without making a fool of myself). Indie music is filled with whiney pointless songs about nothing in particular. Take the music of Wiretree for example. Are they love songs? Has his family died? Is he singing about a war? You can't tell it's just sad sounding dross put against a backdrop of melodic vaguely upbeat, yet haunting and wistful music. I love Elliott Smith but there comes a point where you have to skip past his songs in the playlist because, 'Christ I get it you want heroin! We all do Elliott!' Indie music is pretty much music for privileged white people. When you're a white kid growing up in the West you don't have that much to complain about. Really, you don't. I'm sorry but any sense of depression is pretty self-indulgent as long as you've got a roof over your head and three meals a day so hey, just feel down about it I guess. Ok, I 'spose you could fight social injustice in all its forms. Maybe try and get women’s rights sorted out once and for all. Maybe try and change things. Make people feel comfortable with one another regardless of race, culture or sexuality aw fuck it that's a lot of effort and it's raining outside. Let’s just put The Shins on and lie around all day. Let other people worry about the Status Quo.

Don't get me wrong. I love some of these bands but they never do anything to try and shake things up. They're content with subpar lyrics that offer no insight into the human condition set against melancholy music or, perhaps for the single, jaunty songs about excess/adultery/being cuckolded/cuckolding someone/wearing the same jeans for a protracted length of time/NOTHING IN PARTICULAR! There was a big to do about the Decembrists’ last album because it was a concept album (also, it was shit). Everyone got all excited but what the hell man? I figured all their previous stuff had been conceptualized. They were grand songs about historical events and the occasionally overly long sea shanty. 'How you guys gonna change things for the next album? Oh, a concept album about a forest... An indie opera you say? How will this differ from your previous output? It won’t. Right glad we got that sorted.'

I love The Shins. They're one of my favourite bands but in all honesty their entire discography, including B-sides, can be viewed as one long album.

There is no underlying message to indie music. It doesn’t try to change things or open up discourse on society and humanity. Indie music is not little more than omphaloskeptical noise for people who feel they should feel guilty about something but don’t really want to commit to any particular cause.

It's fair to say that all music stagnates eventually and that you have to dig deep to find the good stuff but pretty much all indie music for the past six years has sounded the same and unlike pop or rap or dance or drum and bass and pretty much ever other genre except metal, the genre that everyone agrees is lame as hell, has nothing to distinguish one song/band form the other. Other bands/genres have different styles. There are some upbeat songs. Some music may help pick you up or make you think, maybe get angry or at least want to dance or something. All indie music sounds as if it was produced by Morrissey when he’s off his Zoloft.

I used to blame the NME and its cannibalistic approach to music journalism but that’s not entirely fair. The NME is the way it is because the indie scene allows them to be. Indie bands churn out the same stuff month after month and so they become disposable.

So basically I hate myself. Maybe not because OF indie music but that’s certainly a symptom of self-loathing. Do you like indie music? Would you like to join me for a day or two where we drink absinthe and bitch about petty trivia all the while doing nothing to address the root cause?

Hm, I might use that last paragraph as personals add on Craigslist.